Blog Tour: Going Under: Lexi Ryan

Going Under (The Blackhawk Boys #3)
Lexi Ryan

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Expected December 6, 2016

If I met Alexandra DeLuca for the first time today, I would only need one word to describe her:


She's everything she was when we said goodbye. Beautiful, stubborn, sweet...and off-limits.

After two years leading separate lives, our worlds have collided. Now that she's back home working and taking classes beside me, she's bound to make me lose my mind.

She's all I've ever wanted, all I've ever dreamed of, and the one thing I can never have.

Not because she's my best friend's sister.
Not because all four DeLuca brothers would come at me with fists swinging if I hurt her.
Not even because she's way better than I will ever deserve.

I keep my distance because we didn't meet for the first time today. We met five years ago when I was a different person. When my demons ruled me. Even though I've changed--even though I've gotten my life together and become a better man--I can't change the past. And the secrets that haunt me would destroy her.

But I'm not the only one with secrets, and when the truth comes out, I don't know where to turn. What do you do when your world washes away beneath your feet and you feel like you're drowning? What do you do when the woman you promised yourself you'd never touch is the only thing that can keep you from going under?

GOING UNDER is a standalone novel and the third in The Blackhawk Boys series.

For Sebastian Crowe, Alexandra DeLuca was the girl that got away--the one he could never have, shouldn't want, and does not think he could ever deserve. She is his best friend's little sister and they are tied by history. But now she is back home and bringing back old wants, regret, and guilt. 

Alex has suffered serious loss and life changes. And Sebastian knows all about it. She has had a crush on him for years, but he has always kept her at arm's length. 

He has secrets and guilt that eats at him and keeps him from going after what he wants. But even the strongest man can have moments of weakness. Their pasts are twisted together. Their present keeps bringing them together, but just enough to keep them hurting and requiring resistance. There are still layers of secrets and guilt creating a barrier that he feels he cannot cross. But until they face everything, there is no chance either will get what they both really want...or be able to move forward towards the future.

They are both broken and damaged and are in the process of being put back together. But it seems they are both each other's biggest regret as well as possibly the best chance of hope and healing. In some ways they have each saved the other. And in other ways they broke each other down. But now as the secrets are laid bare will they be able to keep the other from going under?

I really liked Sebastian. I felt for him as he struggled with the guilt of his mistakes from the past and did not feel worthy of Alex. But he was so protective, caring, and in need of redemption. And Alex was tough and a survivor. But she had so many lingering questions and hurts that stuck with her in addition to the other scars from her past. But she was also insecure and felt inferior as well. And they had a tendency to inadvertently feed into the other's lack of self worth or insecurities. There were plenty of outside influences and secrets affecting them and shaping their decisions. But all along, I kept hoping that once everything was out in the open, they could find forgiveness and healing.

I love it when there are surprise cameos from other series. And all of the friends from this series are also back and I enjoyed catching up with them. This had the camaraderie and fun that I have come to enjoy with this series, but also had some emotional and tragic subject matter. It also had some mystery as to what really happened in the past. It was gradually revealed throughout and added tension and drama into the present. This is a story about loss, love, forgiveness, redemption, hope, and healing. 

I am looking forward to Keegan's book since his story has been ongoing, and I am also hoping Mason is coming after that. He and Bailey drive me crazy!

I was gifted a copy in exchange for an honest review.

Sebastian Crowe has regrets. Had he met Alexandra DeLuca today, he would pursue her no questions asked. But he met her five years ago when he was a different person, when he didn’t deserve anyone as good as she. Even though he has changed his choices, he still knows she isn’t for him, no matter how much he may be attracted to her.

Alexandra is back after two years away. She knows she doesn’t want to be a mechanic forever, so moving home in order to go to college seems the best course of action. But returning also puts her near Sebastian once again, and the crush she held in high school returns as she gets to know the new Sebastian.

They each have secrets and their own grief and regret to deal with. What surprised me was what a tangled mess the secrets were, and how much they each had to learn about what they thought they knew. The secrets fed the challenges each character must face, and at times seemed to amplify the insecurities each held tightly.

As they slowly begin to rely on each other, putting aside the time apart, the tension of the secrets they hide kept things interesting. With each new bit of information I couldn’t help but hope things wouldn’t shake down the way they appeared to be. I was also surprised by the direction several of the secrets led, as the story took on a bit of suspense about what was going on in Alex’s sister’s life at the time of her death.

Each of these characters were likeable and intriguing. Sebastian’s past was a cloud that hovered over him, providing him with so much guilt that shadowed him even years later. I loved the lengths he tried to go in order to protect Alexandra from his past and the connection to her own pain.

Once again this series has pulled me into the family aspect of the team. I love the way they support each other despite mistakes and forgive without prejudice when they learn the darkest secrets of their own. Keegan, Mason, and Bailey have had portions of their stories play out in the background of the series, and I can’t wait to see inside each of their heads in their own stories.

I was gifted a copy in exchange for an honest review.

Copyright © 2016 by Lexi Ryan

“I don’t want you to think you need to do this now that I’m back.”
He steps forward, close enough that I can feel his heat. “Do what?”
“Spend time with me. Come to my rescue. Make sure I make it home safely.” I wave a hand. “All of it. You don’t owe me anything.”
“You think I’m here out of a sense of obligation?” He laughs. “Fuck, that’s insane.”
“Is it? Can we just talk about the elephant in the room?” I ask him.
He’s staring at me, and it takes a few beats for him to process that I’ve spoken. I’d laugh if seeing him drunk didn’t also unsettle something deep inside me, some old part of me that still wants Sebastian to be my rock. But I’m not the girl recovering in the hospital anymore. I’m not the girl crying at her sister’s grave. Those experiences are part of who I am now, but I’m more, too. I’m stronger. I don’t need Sebastian’s strength to hold me steady. Or I shouldn’t.
I tuck my hands into my pockets. “Two years ago, the night before I left for Colorado…” He goes still, and I can’t make myself finish the sentence.
“I crossed a line,” he says.
I snort. God, the problem isn’t that he crossed a line—it’s that he didn’t. “Are you serious right now?”
He cuts his eyes to me again, the muscle ticking in his jaw. “It was a mistake, and you’re obviously still angry with me about it.”
I step away from him and wrap my hands around the porch rail. If I let myself look at him, I’ll overanalyze every expression that crosses his face. I realize I’m holding my breath and exhale. “It was a shitty thing for you to do.”
He’s silent for several heavy beats of my heart. When I can’t stand the silence anymore, I release the railing and turn to face him. “Let me make sure I understand,” he says. “Since I almost kissed you two years ago, I can’t walk you home anymore?”
“I don’t want…” I take a breath as I search for the words to explain how this makes me feel. “I don’t want a pity friendship.”
“What the fuck is a pity friendship?”
“It’s when you spend time with someone because you don’t want them to be alone.”
“You’re an expert on what I want now?”
“I think you made it perfectly clear what you do and don’t want from me two years ago.”
He takes half a step forward, and his gaze drops to my mouth. Can you feel someone looking at your lips? Because his gaze is so intense on my mouth right now that I’m sure I could close my eyes and still feel it as distinctly as a touch. “Dammit, Alex, if I’d have known you’d hold such a grudge for thirty seconds of weakness, I would have kissed you that night. Fuck my better judgment. At least then I’d know how you taste.”
I swallow hard and tell my pounding heart not to make more of this than it is. “You’re drunk, Sebastian.”
Stepping back, he drags a hand over his face. “Yeah.” He takes another step back. “Good night, Alex.”
I unlock the door and go inside, shutting it behind me without looking at him again. Slowly, I take the stairs up to my old room, close the door behind me, and lean against it. Only then do I allow myself to squeeze my eyes shut and take a long, deep breath to calm my racing heart.
His words replay in my head, making the muscles in my stomach grow tight. Just once I’d like Sebastian Crowe to make good on one of the fantasies he inspires. Just once I’d like him to follow me into this room and lock the door before pushing me against it and lowering his mouth to mine. I’d like to feel those rough hands slide under my shirt to unbutton my jeans…
I pull out my phone and text Bailey, letting her know I made it home okay. Then, without washing my face or changing my clothes, I fall into bed, close my eyes, and break a promise to myself by fantasizing about Sebastian Crowe.
“At least then I’d know how you taste.”

THE BLACKHAWK BOYS, an edgy, sexy sports romance series from 
New York Times bestseller Lexi Ryan. 

Football. Secrets. Lies. Passion. These boys don’t play fair. 

Which Blackhawk Boy will steal your heart?

Book 1 - SPINNING OUT -  (Arrow's story)
Book 2 - RUSHING IN - (Christopher's story)
Book 3 - GOING UNDER -  (Sebastian's story)
Book 4 - FALLING HARD - Coming May 2017 (Keegan's Story)

Spinning Out (The Blackhawk Boys #1)
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Our 4.5 star reviews

Once, the only thing that mattered to me was football—training, playing, and earning my place on the best team at every level. I had it all, and I threw it away with a semester of drugs, alcohol, and pissing off anyone who tried to stop me. Now I’m suspended from the team, on house arrest, and forced to spend a semester at home to get my shit together. The cherry on my fuckup sundae? Sleeping in the room next to mine is my best friend’s girl, Mia Mendez—the only woman I’ve ever loved and a reminder of everything I regret.

I’m not sure if having Mia so close will be heaven or hell. She’s off-limits—and not just because she’s working for my dad. Her heart belongs to someone else. But since the accident that killed her brother and changed everything, she walks around like a zombie, shutting out her friends and ignoring her dreams. We’re both broken, numb, and stuck in limbo.

Until I break my own rules and touch her. 

Until she saves me from my nightmares by climbing into my bed. 

Until the only thing I want more than having Mia for myself is to protect her from the truth. 

I can’t rewrite the past, but I refuse to leave her heart in the hands of fate. For this girl, I’d climb into the sky and rearrange the stars.

Our 4 star reviews

The favor seemed simple: Keep my new stepsister out of trouble for one summer. 

I’ve never met Grace Lee, but Mom tells me she’s a quiet and artsy college student with a troubled past. When I agreed to let her stay with me, I thought it was no big deal. I expected to share my apartment with a sullen girl who’d spend hours locked in her room.

I didn’t expect a walking fantasy determined to make me lose my cool.

I didn’t expect a woman with secrets so dark, so deep, I’d throw away everything if it would save her from the past.

Rushing in to do this favor is turning my life upside down—and not just because Grace needs her ass spanked. Keep her out of trouble? Grace is the trouble. And I want in. 

Falling Hard (The Blackhawk Boys #4)
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May 23, 2017

Lexi Ryan Website | Facebook | Twitter | Newsletter

New York Times and USA Today bestselling romance novelist Lexi Ryan is a former college English professor turned full­time writer. She lives in rural Indiana with her husband and two children. When not writing, she can be found enjoying yoga, reading copiously, hanging out with her family, and thanking her lucky stars.


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