I am not even sure what to say about this one. Really. It is a lot...Pain. Chaos. Destruction. Heartbreak. Bullying. Resentment. Fighting. Lust. Uncontrollable feelings. Secrets. Lies. Threats. It's RVD's mafia...

Ash Abandonato is a man in turmoil. He is supposed to be leading the next generation of the mafia families, but he is suffering loss, grief, guilt, and is breaking down. He broods, cries, rages, hates, and uses poor coping strategies. He has lost himself and is spiraling out of control. And he needs a target for that rage.

We always hated what we couldn’t have. And she had peace. I was a son of war. The two would never… could never meet.

Annie Smith is an orphan now under his family's protection and living with them. And she is the perfect person to take his anger out on. She is sweet, kind, smart, sensitive, and likes to be invisible. But one night he pushes her too far and she leaves for nearly a year. And she is not the same when she returns.

I have to admit that I had a really hard time with Ash in this one. The author warns us about this at the beginning of the book, and she did not lie. He can be mean and a bully, but at other times overprotective and demanding. He teeters the line between seeking revenge and taking it out on her, and his natural instinct to protect her. He beats himself up. He takes it out on everyone, especially her. He runs hot and cold, and can be jealous. He makes bad decisions and says hurtful things. He feels like a failure and is terrified of failing again. It is hard to tell what is going to come out of his mouth or what he is going to do next. 

I knew I was in over my head with this constant need for revenge, for her to feel my pain, right along with this natural need to protect her from every bad thing in this world. It was like I was playing both hero and villain, and it was exhausting.

But the new Annie is stronger, braver, insightful, and can really see him. She challenges him and pushes back even when he hurts her or pushes her away. She gets better at hiding her pain both from her past and from how Ash treats her. But she thinks she will never be able to truly have his heart. 

This is an angsty, intense, tragic, suspenseful, enemies-to-lovers story with characters carrying a lot of emotional baggage. These two are almost too much. The push and pull just goes on and on. It is such a thin line between love and hate that the line is barely visible. But Annie thinks Ash is more than he lets others see. And Ash hates himself for seeing just how good and strong Annie is since he feels such guilt about possibly moving on. The happy times for them are few and far between, and their whole relationship is intense all the time one way or another. 

“Lonely recognizes lonely, sad recognizes sad, desolate recognizes desolate… Lost.” Her eyes met mine then. “Recognizes lost.”

And like any of these books, there are also secrets and threats lurking under the surface and some family drama, and things get more chaotic and difficult before all is said and done. And of course, there are a few holy-crap-twists thrown in as well. 

It brings back all the hot-blooded and unfiltered characters we have to come to love. We get multiple points of view, and I really enjoyed the behind-the-scenes father mafia bosses' discussions and schemes in this one. And these kids are just as crazy as their parents were. I am interested in the rest of their stories.