Wallbanger Alice Clayton


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Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O.

Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard. Each moan, spank, and–was that a meow?–punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O.

Enter Simon Parker. (No, really, Simon, please enter.) When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results. Ahem. With walls this thin, the tension’s gonna be thick…

In her third novel, Alice Clayton returns to dish her trademark mix of silly and steamy. Banter, barbs, and strutting pussycats, plus the sexiest apple pie ever made, are dunked in a hot tub and set against the gorgeous San Francisco skyline in this hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight.

Sexy Wallbanger + Pink Nightie Girl = a fun romp!

Simon...Wallbanger...so Cute, so charming, so cocky, so arrogant, so sweet, so addicted to bake goods, so...perfectly hot!

Caroline...Sweet Caroline...missing her elusive O that has been in hiding, smart, funny, sarcastic, sweet, and frustrated. 

The Missing O, I'd started to talk to my O as though she were an actual entity. She felt real enough when she was rocking my world back in the day, but sadly, now that O had abandoned me, I wasn't sure I'd recognize her if she saw her. 'Tis a sad, sad day when a girl doesn't even know her own orgasm...

Caroline moves next door to Simon. Who has a harem of 3 that he entertains on alternating nights and the thump "Oh God!" thump thump begins. A girl without an O can only take so much so she trots on over there in a pink nightie. And so begins the story of Simon and Caroline. 

"The walls are not as thick as your head! I can hear everything! Every spank, every meow, every giggle, and I have had it!This shit ends now!"

Together they spontaneously combust!

"Why are you such a manwhoring asshole?"
"Why are you such a cockblocking Priss?"

It's Hate. Like. Hate. Like. Like. Love...Their rapport is hilarious whether they are fighting, friendly or frisky. The way their friendship and relationship builds and changes is endearing. They are a perfect match even if they could not tell it themselves when it was staring them in the face. And chemistry! WOW!

"Why did you kiss me?"..."Because I had to."

"I knew with you it would be an all or nothing kind of thing."..."All, Caroline. I need all of you."
Simon: "You're going to break me, you know this, right? I swear on all that's holy, I'm not a machine--Christ, don't stop doing that."

This book is SO MUCH FUN! It's feisty, crass, and completely entertaining! I cannot help but laugh out loud with Alice Clayton's books. Some of my favorite parts were the text messages and inner monologues on a car ride. Oh, and the names that Caroline gave to Simon's harem. And Clive the crazy cat...

(when Clive the cat attacks Simon)...with those 10 claws digging deeper in, he continued running room to room. The irony that Simon was literally trying to run away from pussy was not lost on me

Their friends were also comedic and fun. It was cute to see them realizing that your perceived type is not always what you really want or need. It's a really funny story about chasing love, chasing the big O, and finding what you needed in an unlikely source.


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