Charade Nyrae Dawn

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Nineteen-year-old Cheyenne tries to portray the perfect life to mask the memories of her past. Walking in on her boyfriend with another woman her freshman year in college threatens that picture of perfection.

Twenty-one-year-old Colt never wanted college and never expected to amount to anything, but when his mom's dying wish is for him to get his degree, he has no choice but to pretend it's what he wants too.

Cheyenne needs a fake boyfriend to get back at her ex and Colt needs cash to take care of his mom, so they strike a deal that helps them both. But what if Cheyenne’s past isn’t what she thought? Soon they’re trading one charade for another—losing themselves in each other to forget about their pain. The more they play their game, the more it becomes the only thing they have that feels real.

Both Cheyenne and Colt know life is never easy, but neither of them expect the tragedy that threatens to end their charade and rip them apart forever.

It started out as a Charade. She needed to save face with a fake boyfriend. He needed money. 
Should be easy, right?

"No, Princess. I don't have a girl. I'm not looking for one either."

"I don't really want to be your girlfriend. It's a charade. Hello?

This book started out a little shaky for me. I was not sure if I was feeling the characters and the writing style seemed a little too YA at first. But then, something happened. They started to fight, then started to work together, then started to feel, continued to fight each other and their own feelings, but then it just became beautiful. Their connection slowly built. You realize there is more depth to this story. They are both damaged. Both have issues with their parents, both feel isolated and hide their true selves, both were just lost and going through the motions. They peel back each other's layers and bare more to each other than they ever have to anyone else. During this emotional transition and as they hold onto each other through some terrible situations, I found myself clutching my kindle harder. 

And even though I don't like it, there's something about that pulls out my secrets. Like he's a magnet, my past, my secrets and my pain, little shards of metal unable to resist his pull. I don't understand and I don't even know if I want to, but it feels good having some of those thing siphoned out. 

Cheyenne:"I thought this was a game..."
Colt: "Not anymore and you know it. Everything else in my life is all f**ked up. This is the only thing that's real."

"You make me want to live. F**k that. Not just live, you make me want to enjoy it. To f**king love it. I don't pretend anymore. Don't play games anymore."

This book made me laugh, made me hold my breath, and made me cry. I liked both of the character's individual progressions and their growth as an honest supportive couple. I liked having both POV and getting to see their internal battles and emerging feelings. Colt's emotions were so raw at times. And I had to laugh that almost every emotional statement he made has the F bomb in it. Just made it feel more real.

"We've had enough sadness to last a f**king lifetime. From now on, we should only get sunshine" 

It ended up being an emotional and beautiful read. I will definitely read book 2 in this series about Colt's friend Adrian.


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